“艺术家是不是他自己的最好的解释者”，这在宗白华先生翻译的《西方美术名著选译》中阐述得很清楚。其实我也一直这样认为，艺术家有艺术家的事，理论家有理论家的事，这就相当于养殖和屠宰是一个道理。养殖场只负责怎样把牛养好，至于包装上市，那是屠宰厂的事！“越俎代庖”那是自寻烦恼的事！但是，在养殖过程中的一些心得和经验是值得记录的，也是该进一步研究和完善的。一个成功的艺术家，他也一定是一个善于思考的艺术家。

　　记得很多年前，我看过两本书，都是自传体形式的，一本是描写凡·高的《渴望生活》，另一本是记述高更的《月亮和六便士》。这是两个对艺术、对人生理解截然不同的艺术家，更让人不可思议的是他们居然在一起生活过一段时间。以凡·高的一只耳朵为代价，结束了两人的友谊。他们之间结束了争吵，但留给后人的争论还在继续着。

　　其实二人从来没有站在同一角度看待过同样的问题。一个是以生命自身为基点，以燃烧自身为代价，用心灵体验生命中的每一个细节，对一棵草、一株树，他都会倾注全部的激情。而另一个完全是站在生命之外的一个高高的金字塔顶，不停地追问着苍穹：“我们从哪里来？我们是谁？我们到哪里去？”伴随着这些疑问，他的灵魂早已畅游在久远的天河之水了。

　　凡·高在给他弟弟写的信中，这样给艺术下过定义，“对艺术，我还不知道有更好的像下面的定义。这定义是：艺术，这就是人被加到自然里去，这自然是他解放出来的；这现实、这真理，却具备着一层艺术家在那里表达出来的意义，即使他画的是瓦片、矿石、冰块或一个桥拱……那宝贵的呈到光明来的珍珠，即人的心灵。”（摘自《西方美术名著选译》）高更在自己的手札里描述“再回到那幅画：《我们从哪里来？我们是谁？我们向哪里去？》我在我死之前把我的全部精力放了进去，（高更此时准备自杀），不加任何的修改地画着，一个那样纯净的幻像，以致不完满的消失掉而生命升了上来……”（摘自《西方美术名著选译》）

　　虽然两个人都以自杀的方式结束生命，凡·高是燃烧完最后一滴血来阐明自己对艺术、生命、自然的热爱，以自身为祭品，改变人们对待“神圣”以一贯之的祭奠方式。高更则是完全把生命当作一个载体，以飞蛾扑火的方法完成他“凤凰涅”式的“光明之路”。

　　我自己有可能算不上我自己作品的最好的解释者，但这些年来创作每幅作品的辛酸苦辣，大概也只有我最清楚。二十年来，我不知疲倦地画着田园、农人和大地，不单单是那份不变的乡村情怀，还有着一份属于城市的社会关注。我是站在画家的角度去判断和思考这些问题，尽我一份对社会、对生命的责任。生活在城市中的人们，大都生活在单一模式之下，单调的生活方式年复一年的重复着，其实每个人内心深处都怀有回归大地、回归自然的梦想。（节日长假的出行计划、周末的郊游……）这使我想起我上学时看过的一本由阿尔及利亚的作家加谬写的名叫《西西弗的神话》的书，书中讲：“荷马史诗中有这样关于西西弗的描写：西西弗重堕地狱。他在地狱里对那些肆意践踏人类之爱的行径十分愤慨，他获得了普洛托（罗马神话中的冥王）的允诺，重返人间，以惩罚他的妻子。但当他又一次看到这大地的面貌，重新领略流水、阳光的抚爱，重新触摸那火热的石头、宽阔的大海的时候，他就再也不愿回到阴森的地狱中去了。冥王的召令、气愤和警告都无济于事……面对起伏的山峦、奔腾的大海和大地的微笑，他又生活了多年……”诸神重又把他投入到地狱，处罚他不停地把一块石头推上山顶，而石头由于自身的重量又滚下山去。诸神认为再没有比进行这种无效无望的劳动更为严厉的惩罚了。而这位“荒谬”的英雄，却始终以一个胜利者的姿态，微笑着面对这一切，因为他“仇恨死亡，对生活充满激情……”“是为了对大地的无限热爱必须付出的代价。”

　　现实生活中，“经济至上”给人们造成的单一生活模式，已无异于这位“荒谬英雄”所得到的“巨石惩罚”。希望我能用蘸满纯色的画笔，所画出的“撒满阳光的画作”唤醒那些身心疲惫的人群，给更多的人一个回望大地的空间。

　　中华民族是一个充满着诗意的民族，面对着祖国的秀色山川，只要你胸怀锦绣，都会因多娇的江山而诗意盎然，口中念念而有词，哪里分什么“意志”与“闲情”。有苏轼酒足之后“大江东去浪淘尽”的豪迈，也有隆爷饭饱之余“夕阳芳草见游猪”的闲暇……许多年来，我怀着对祖国山河既有诗情又有画意的激情，几乎走遍了中国，但最让我感动的还是生养我的北中国这块土地，不论是行驶在太行的盘山路上，还是坐在辽沈战役主战场的山丘上……我都在用美学的眼光去观察她，从历史的角度去思考她。每一次走进田野、攀上山岗，对我都意味着发自内心的感动。就让这每一份感动都化作一片片灿烂的颜色，泼撒在画中，泼撒在我深爱着的北方大地上。这让我想起了诗人艾青的诗句：“为什么我的眼里常含泪水？因为我对这片土地爱得深沉。”

　　在此感谢叶黎成先生及其太太多年的厚爱，感谢张敏裕小姐的知遇之情，感谢柯老、艾轩先生、宋晓霞女士、焕青兄、子康兄及所有支持和信任我的朋友们！

　　（占山2004年于绿雅）

 

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Interpreting Myself, Thinking about Life ——My Feelings for the North

　　'Is an artist the best interpreter of himself?' This idea has been explained clearly in Translation of Selected Famous Essays on Western Art translated by Mr. Zong Baihua. In fact, I have always believed that an artist has the work of an artist and a theorist has the work of a theorist. This is similar to raising a cattle and getting it slaughtered. The farm is only responsible for raising the cattle well. How to slaughter it and pack it to the market are the duties of the abattoir. 'Taking somebody else's job into one's own hands' is only creating trouble for oneself! However, some experiences gained in the process of raising animals are worth recording so as to make further investigation and perfection. A successful artist should also be good at thinking.

　　Many years ago I read two books which were in the form of biography. One was the Desire to Live about Vincent van Gogh. The other was The Moon and Sixpence about Paul Gauguin. They were two artists who had completely different views on art as well as on life. It was unconceivable that they had lived together for a period of time. Their friendship terminated with Van Gogh's ear as the price. Their quarrels ended, but the disputes they left to the world are still going on.

　　In fact, these two men had never viewed a problem from the same angle. One used his own life as the base and ignited his own self as the cost. He experienced every detail of life with his heart and poured all his passion even to a grass or a tree. Another man stood on the apex of a very high pyramid which was located outside life. He incessantly inquired the heavens, 'Where are we from? Who are we? Where will we be going to?' With these queries, his spirit was already floating freely in the ancient Milky Way. 

　　In a letter to his brother, Van Gogh defined art in the following way, 'To art, I do not know if there is a better definition than the following one: Art is adding man to nature and this nature is liberated by him. This reality and this truth have a meaning that is expressed by the artist. Even when he paints a brick, a stone, a piece of ice or a bridge arch...the precious pearl presented to brightness is the spirit of man' (from Translation of Selected Famous Essays on Western Art). Gauguin described in his letter, 'Let us return to the painting. "Where are we from? Who are we? Where will we be going to?" Before I die, I have put all my energy into it. (Gauguin was going to commit suicide.) I have painted without making any corrections. It is such a pure phantom that all the imperfection disappears and life transcends' (from Translation of Selected Famous Essays on Western Art).

　　Although these two people ended their lives by committing suicide, Van Gogh burnt his last drop of blood to explain how he loved art, life and nature. He sacrificed himself as an offering so as to change people's traditional concept about the ceremony of holiness. On the other hand, Gauguin treated life as a vessel. He acted like a moth throwing itself into a flame so as to complete his 'Road of Brightness' in a 'Phoenix and Nirvana' way.

　　I may not be the best interpreter of my own works. However, I am probably the best person who understands the hardships in creating each painting. In these twenty years, I have painted the fields, the peasants and the land regardless of weariness, not only because of my love for the countryside but also for a social concern which belongs to the city. I am in the position of a painter to judge and ponder over these problems so as to fulfill my responsibility to society and to life. People who live in the city are mostly living in a unitary style. Life monotonously repeats itself year after year. In fact, deep in the heart of every person, there is a dream of returning to the land and returning to nature. (For example, we plan for trips during long holidays and outings to the countryside at weekends.) This reminds me of a book I read during my school days. It was called The Myth of Sisyphus, written by the Algerian author A. Camus and it said, 'In Homer's epic there was such a description about Sisyphus: Sisyphus fell into the underground world again. He was indignant at those who wantonly trampled on human love. He obtained the permission from Pluto (the king of the underworld in Roman mythology) to go back to earth so as to punish his wife. However, once again he saw earth, felt the gentle strokes of the water and the sunshine, and touched the warm stones and the vast ocean, he did not want to return to the gloomy hell again. Pluto's summons, anger or warning was of no avail. Facing the undulating hills, the rolling waters and the smiles of earth, he continued to live for many years...' The gods threw him into the underground world again. They condemned him to ceaselessly rolling a rock to the top of a mountain, and because of its weight the rock roll downhill again. The gods thought that there was no other dreadful punishment than this futile and hopeless labor. Nevertheless, this 'absurd' hero posed himself as a winner as he 'hated death and loved life passionately... and this was the price he had to pay for his boundless love for earth.'

　　In real life when economy is in command, the unitary life style thus formed resembles the 'rock punishment' given to this 'absurd hero'. I hope that I can use my paintbrush that has been dipped with pure colors to create 'paintings filled with sunshine'. I hope to wake up people who are weary in both body and mind, and to provide them with more space to look back at mother earth.

　　The Chinese nation is a poetic people. If you love beautiful scenery, you will become poetic as our mother country is so full of charming mountains and rivers. There is no need to talk about 'will' or 'leisure'. When Su Shi had drunk to his full, he had the bold line of 'The great river flows east and the waves wash away'. After Emperor Qianlung had taken his big feast, he wrote the leisure verse of 'Pigs wandered leisurely among the grass at sunset'. With a poetic passion for the scenic beauty of my mother country, I have traveled almost all of China for many years. What impresses me most is this northern part of China which has brought me up. Whether I was driving up the winding road in Taixing Shan or sitting at the chief battlefield of the Liaoshen Battle, I inspected the place with an aesthetic point of view and pondered over her at a historical angle. Every time I walk into a field or climb a hill, I am deeply moved in my heart. Let every bit of this feeling transforms into patches of splendid colors, which are poured onto my paintings and poured onto the northern land that I am deeply in love with! This reminds me of the verse by the poet Aiqing, 'Why my eyes are always imbued with tears? It is because I love this land so deeply.'

　　I would like to express my gratitude to Mr. and Mrs. Yip Lai-shing for their benevolence over the years, Miss Cheung Man-yue for her appreciation and support of my works, and my revered Mr. Ke Wenhui, Mr. Ai Xuan, Ms. Song Xiaoxia, Huanqing, Zikang and friends who have aided and trusted me!

Zhan Shan

2004 at House Luya